All for His Glory

There are days when I feel pretty good about where I am, where I've been, and where I'm headed.  Then there are days I don't.  On those days I question my purpose in life.  I question whether I'm doing what I should be doing to achieve my purpose.  What does God want me to do? Where is He?

There are days when I think all is good in the world.  I am full of hope for the future, joy in the present, and appreciation for the past.  Then there are moments when I miss my dad so much my breath stops, when my heart breaks from loneliness, and when I question why.  Why sickness, why death, why shattered dreams and broken hearts? Where is God in this?

Am I trying to do too much?  Am I trying to be too much?  Are my attempts at filling the hole by my doing and being simply making the hole larger?  I think yes. 

I think I make things too complicated.  I think my purpose is simple: to love God and love others.  To experience and share His undeniable love with those around me.  But how do I do this when I feel so empty?  How do I pour out what I've yet to capture?   So I pray.  'Father, please give me strength.  Fill me up with your Holy Spirit.  Make me whole Lord so I may serve you and honor you with my life. Point out those things in my life that are keeping me from fully receiving You.'  And I get up, and I do my part.  I chose Him over the distractions of the world.  I run freely in the paths of His commands.  I surrender my joy and my pain to him; my fullness and my brokenness; and I trust that He uses it all for His glory.  Amen.