God's Purpose or Mine?

God's timing is always perfect, although we may not realize that until after the fact.  My previous post was about the emotional turmoil I've experienced lately.  Today's entry in My Utmost for His Highest was perfect timing for me - it even used the same word.  It's a great reminder that life isn't about the end result, it's about the process.  God is always working to shape us and mold us to be more like Christ....the ups and downs in life are part of that process.

"We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God’s purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself.

What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see “Him walking on the sea” with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see “Him walking on the sea” (Mark 6:49). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God.

God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.

God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious."

Christian Lessons from the Olympics?

Tonight over a billion people watched the three-hour opening ceremonies to the 2012 Olympics.  As I sat there watching the lighting of the final torch it struck me that were were in essence worshiping the role of sports and athletics in our society.  I'm certainly not meaning to discount the hard work and dedication of each of the athletes involved in this long standing tradition.  I just can't help but wonder when the last time was that so much time, money, and effort was put into a worship ceremony for our God.  When was the last time that over a billion people came together to worship and honor all that God does for us?  All that Jesus did for us?  I'm hopeful there were hundreds, maybe thousands of people standing in that Olympic stadium thanking God for their success.  Oh that we lived in a world where celebrating our faith was a unifying experience, like celebrating athletic performance, rather than one filled with division, anger, and pure hatred.

Is there a lesson we can learn from the way sports brings people together?  From the ways athletics seems to bridge geographic and demographic differences?  Or, is this just a sign of the times that we're living in?

Peace that transcends

This morning during my prayer time I asked God these questions: Where has my peace gone to?  Why am I constantly on a roller coaster of emotions? What is the turmoil I'm constantly feeling in my heart? How do I cultivate peace in my heart again? How do I find it?

I believe this is what He laid on my heart:

"Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:4-7)

These verses tell us to do four things:
1) Rejoice
2) Let our gentleness be evident
3) Don't be anxious
4) Pray and submit our requests to God with thanksgiving.

Then, the scripture says, the peace of God will protect our hearts and our minds.

Rejoice:  to be glad; take delight in; to feel or express great joy and happiness .  The commentary in my Bible says: "Our inner attitudes don't have to reflect our outward circumstances."  So, even though I may be surrounded by turmoil, I can CHOSE to rejoice.  And, if I follow the scripture, I am commanded to rejoice. Always.  Whew.  That takes a lot of effort and energy - especially when I look around with my human eyes and find little to rejoice about.  But, as a follower of Christ desiring to receive the richness that He offers, I must make that choice.

Gentleness: deliberate, voluntary kindness; peaceful; not severe, rough, or violent.

And when I need a reminder that God loves me and desires only good for me, the scripture says:
"And we  know that in all things God worlds for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

My Bible commentary says "God is not working to make us happy, nut to fulfill his purpose."  Ultimately, my greatest desire is for God to fulfill His purpose in my life.  While I may not always be in a state of happiness, I can rest assured in knowing that God is in control of my life and using all things, good and bad, to fulfill that purpose.   My God's love is undeniable, this I know, this I can rely on, in this I find peace.

Character v. Happiness

I had a bit of a realization yesterday, perhaps more of a reminder since I'm pretty sure I've learned this before.  Because God loves us, He is more concerned about our eternal character than our earthly happiness.  That's a little bit of a big pill to swallow.  You mean it's not all about me Lord?  You're not uber concerned about my happiness?  Why not?  Aren't you a loving God?  Don't you want me to be happy?

Yes.  Yes, He is concerned about my happiness, my eternal happiness.  This was my realization.  In the midst of trying to 'figure things out', as I'm way too often trying to do, I realized that God is more concerned about the end result.  These trials that I'm facing, the uncertainty, the awkwardness, the disappointment, all of it is about my character.  It is my character (not my happiness) that stores up riches for me in Heaven.  It is my character (not my happiness) that ultimately allows Christ's light to shine through me.  It is my character (not my happiness) that allows me to love another when I myself am feeling defeated, empty, or depressed.  It is my character (not my happiness) that brings me closer to God.  It is character (not happiness) that produces hope.

"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. (Romans 5:3-5)

May we all continue to walk in and trust in God's undeniable love as He shapes our character.

Obedience

I'm a fairly obedient person.  I try not to speed.  I follow general public order signs, "Please wait to be seated.", "No loitering.", "No outside candy in the theater." (Okay that last one isn't always true.) I was pretty obedient in school, only getting sent to the Principal's office once for wearing flip flops (I had a "severe" toe injury). I even try to follow my current professor's unreasonable page formatting expectations. (Who uses double space in grad school!)  Anyways, all in all, I'm pretty 'rule-abiding'.  This includes the big 10 - you know, the Ten Commandments.  But there's one area where I struggle.  Trusting in God.

You may say, will that's not obedience that's trust; it's different. Before I might have agreed but I believe now that we are called to trust in God, we are called not to worry and it's a matter of obedience.  It's not a 'Hey, if you can, don't worry.  If you have the desire, trust in Me.  If it's not too hard, place your life in my hands." No.  We're called to lay our burdens down, to stop worrying; to know that God values us more than the lilies in the field.

As I mentioned in my last post I've been anxious lately.  I've never experienced this type of anxiety.  I've cried out to God; I've felt lonely, empty, and at times abandoned.  But of course, I know this isn't true.  I know my God will never leave nor forsake me and that He is with me always.  But sometimes that doesn't make it any easier.  Finally, the other night I believe God clearly called my anxiety what it was - a case of disobedience.  (Please note:  I know many people struggle with anxiousness, I am not in anyway saying their anxiety is disobedience....this is just what I believe for me.)  I believe God called me out on my lack of trust in Him; on my lack of faith that He truly has the best in mind for me; that He truly will call all things to work together for my  good; that He will complete the work He's started in me.  And He'd be right (of course).  Frankly, I've been angry with God lately.  I've been frustrated with Him.  And therefore, I've been disobedient.

My prayer now is of course one of repentance, asking for forgiveness.  It's a prayer of thanks for the grace I know I've already received.  And it's a prayer for strength as I walk forward each day on this journey God has me on.  I may not understand it but I will trust in Him; I will trust in His undeniable love to see me through each day, each trial, and each anxious moment.  I love Him.  I have faith in Him.  I will be obedient in my Faith to Him.  Amen.

"Through Him and for His name's sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people from among all the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith." - Romans 1:5

Anxiety

Anxiety. Anxiousness. Two words I've come to know all too well lately. You're first question might be why? What are you anxious about? Trust me, if I knew and could pinpoint it that easily I would, and I would solve the problem. Because that's what I do. I'm a problem solver.

But I don't know. And I can't solve it. I can just wait. I'm chalking it up as a learning experience from God. A chance to practice relying on him in big and small things. In walking down the street and flying across the country. In my current job and my future career. In the responsibilities that I have now and those that are surely to come. In my present state and hopeful dreams.

I saw a quote recently that said something like, "Anxiety is the result of freedom's choices." Perhaps this is true. Perhaps I have too many choices in front of me (I've never been so good at making decisions.) If so, I suppose the solution is trusting God in those choices. Trusting that, if I listen to that still, small voice, He will make His will known. His undeniable love will surround me, and guide, and grant me peace.

A friend of mine sent me these verses. I found them helpful:

Psalm 143:8,10-11 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. For your name's sake, O LORD, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble

Psalm 127:2In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat--for he grants sleep to [fn] those he loves

Psalm 26:1Vindicate me, O LORD, for I have led a blameless life; I have trusted in the LORD without wavering.

Psalm 112:6-7Surely he will never be shaken; a righteous man will be remembered forever. He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

Psalm 17:7-8Show the wonder of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings

Psalm 16:8-9I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure,

Psalm 4:7You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 94:18
When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.

1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.....

Put another way: "I cast all my anxiety on You because You care for me..... You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure. Show the wonder of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings. Vindicate me, O LORD, for I have led a blameless life; I have trusted in the LORD without wavering. When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. Surely he will never be shaken; a righteous man will be remembered forever. He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. For your name's sake, O LORD, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble."

I am reminded too of this verse, one of my favorites: "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun." - Psalm 37:4-6 (NIV)

All for His Glory

There are days when I feel pretty good about where I am, where I've been, and where I'm headed.  Then there are days I don't.  On those days I question my purpose in life.  I question whether I'm doing what I should be doing to achieve my purpose.  What does God want me to do? Where is He?

There are days when I think all is good in the world.  I am full of hope for the future, joy in the present, and appreciation for the past.  Then there are moments when I miss my dad so much my breath stops, when my heart breaks from loneliness, and when I question why.  Why sickness, why death, why shattered dreams and broken hearts? Where is God in this?

Am I trying to do too much?  Am I trying to be too much?  Are my attempts at filling the hole by my doing and being simply making the hole larger?  I think yes. 

I think I make things too complicated.  I think my purpose is simple: to love God and love others.  To experience and share His undeniable love with those around me.  But how do I do this when I feel so empty?  How do I pour out what I've yet to capture?   So I pray.  'Father, please give me strength.  Fill me up with your Holy Spirit.  Make me whole Lord so I may serve you and honor you with my life. Point out those things in my life that are keeping me from fully receiving You.'  And I get up, and I do my part.  I chose Him over the distractions of the world.  I run freely in the paths of His commands.  I surrender my joy and my pain to him; my fullness and my brokenness; and I trust that He uses it all for His glory.  Amen.