Character v. Happiness

I had a bit of a realization yesterday, perhaps more of a reminder since I'm pretty sure I've learned this before.  Because God loves us, He is more concerned about our eternal character than our earthly happiness.  That's a little bit of a big pill to swallow.  You mean it's not all about me Lord?  You're not uber concerned about my happiness?  Why not?  Aren't you a loving God?  Don't you want me to be happy?

Yes.  Yes, He is concerned about my happiness, my eternal happiness.  This was my realization.  In the midst of trying to 'figure things out', as I'm way too often trying to do, I realized that God is more concerned about the end result.  These trials that I'm facing, the uncertainty, the awkwardness, the disappointment, all of it is about my character.  It is my character (not my happiness) that stores up riches for me in Heaven.  It is my character (not my happiness) that ultimately allows Christ's light to shine through me.  It is my character (not my happiness) that allows me to love another when I myself am feeling defeated, empty, or depressed.  It is my character (not my happiness) that brings me closer to God.  It is character (not happiness) that produces hope.

"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. (Romans 5:3-5)

May we all continue to walk in and trust in God's undeniable love as He shapes our character.

Obedience

I'm a fairly obedient person.  I try not to speed.  I follow general public order signs, "Please wait to be seated.", "No loitering.", "No outside candy in the theater." (Okay that last one isn't always true.) I was pretty obedient in school, only getting sent to the Principal's office once for wearing flip flops (I had a "severe" toe injury). I even try to follow my current professor's unreasonable page formatting expectations. (Who uses double space in grad school!)  Anyways, all in all, I'm pretty 'rule-abiding'.  This includes the big 10 - you know, the Ten Commandments.  But there's one area where I struggle.  Trusting in God.

You may say, will that's not obedience that's trust; it's different. Before I might have agreed but I believe now that we are called to trust in God, we are called not to worry and it's a matter of obedience.  It's not a 'Hey, if you can, don't worry.  If you have the desire, trust in Me.  If it's not too hard, place your life in my hands." No.  We're called to lay our burdens down, to stop worrying; to know that God values us more than the lilies in the field.

As I mentioned in my last post I've been anxious lately.  I've never experienced this type of anxiety.  I've cried out to God; I've felt lonely, empty, and at times abandoned.  But of course, I know this isn't true.  I know my God will never leave nor forsake me and that He is with me always.  But sometimes that doesn't make it any easier.  Finally, the other night I believe God clearly called my anxiety what it was - a case of disobedience.  (Please note:  I know many people struggle with anxiousness, I am not in anyway saying their anxiety is disobedience....this is just what I believe for me.)  I believe God called me out on my lack of trust in Him; on my lack of faith that He truly has the best in mind for me; that He truly will call all things to work together for my  good; that He will complete the work He's started in me.  And He'd be right (of course).  Frankly, I've been angry with God lately.  I've been frustrated with Him.  And therefore, I've been disobedient.

My prayer now is of course one of repentance, asking for forgiveness.  It's a prayer of thanks for the grace I know I've already received.  And it's a prayer for strength as I walk forward each day on this journey God has me on.  I may not understand it but I will trust in Him; I will trust in His undeniable love to see me through each day, each trial, and each anxious moment.  I love Him.  I have faith in Him.  I will be obedient in my Faith to Him.  Amen.

"Through Him and for His name's sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people from among all the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith." - Romans 1:5

Anxiety

Anxiety. Anxiousness. Two words I've come to know all too well lately. You're first question might be why? What are you anxious about? Trust me, if I knew and could pinpoint it that easily I would, and I would solve the problem. Because that's what I do. I'm a problem solver.

But I don't know. And I can't solve it. I can just wait. I'm chalking it up as a learning experience from God. A chance to practice relying on him in big and small things. In walking down the street and flying across the country. In my current job and my future career. In the responsibilities that I have now and those that are surely to come. In my present state and hopeful dreams.

I saw a quote recently that said something like, "Anxiety is the result of freedom's choices." Perhaps this is true. Perhaps I have too many choices in front of me (I've never been so good at making decisions.) If so, I suppose the solution is trusting God in those choices. Trusting that, if I listen to that still, small voice, He will make His will known. His undeniable love will surround me, and guide, and grant me peace.

A friend of mine sent me these verses. I found them helpful:

Psalm 143:8,10-11 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. For your name's sake, O LORD, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble

Psalm 127:2In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat--for he grants sleep to [fn] those he loves

Psalm 26:1Vindicate me, O LORD, for I have led a blameless life; I have trusted in the LORD without wavering.

Psalm 112:6-7Surely he will never be shaken; a righteous man will be remembered forever. He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

Psalm 17:7-8Show the wonder of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings

Psalm 16:8-9I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure,

Psalm 4:7You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 94:18
When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.

1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.....

Put another way: "I cast all my anxiety on You because You care for me..... You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure. Show the wonder of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings. Vindicate me, O LORD, for I have led a blameless life; I have trusted in the LORD without wavering. When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. Surely he will never be shaken; a righteous man will be remembered forever. He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. For your name's sake, O LORD, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble."

I am reminded too of this verse, one of my favorites: "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun." - Psalm 37:4-6 (NIV)

All for His Glory

There are days when I feel pretty good about where I am, where I've been, and where I'm headed.  Then there are days I don't.  On those days I question my purpose in life.  I question whether I'm doing what I should be doing to achieve my purpose.  What does God want me to do? Where is He?

There are days when I think all is good in the world.  I am full of hope for the future, joy in the present, and appreciation for the past.  Then there are moments when I miss my dad so much my breath stops, when my heart breaks from loneliness, and when I question why.  Why sickness, why death, why shattered dreams and broken hearts? Where is God in this?

Am I trying to do too much?  Am I trying to be too much?  Are my attempts at filling the hole by my doing and being simply making the hole larger?  I think yes. 

I think I make things too complicated.  I think my purpose is simple: to love God and love others.  To experience and share His undeniable love with those around me.  But how do I do this when I feel so empty?  How do I pour out what I've yet to capture?   So I pray.  'Father, please give me strength.  Fill me up with your Holy Spirit.  Make me whole Lord so I may serve you and honor you with my life. Point out those things in my life that are keeping me from fully receiving You.'  And I get up, and I do my part.  I chose Him over the distractions of the world.  I run freely in the paths of His commands.  I surrender my joy and my pain to him; my fullness and my brokenness; and I trust that He uses it all for His glory.  Amen.    

Getting to Where God Wants Me

If I want to get where God wants me to be, which of course I do, I have to travel the path He's prepared for me.  I have to be obedient to Him.   I have to use His means not mine.  His strength not mine.  I have to rely on His understanding not my understanding.  His ability not mine.  His power not my power.  His words not mine.

If I want to get to this place., I have to run in the path of His commands.

I trust that the Lord wants to use me to expand His kingdom, just as He wants to use you.  I trust that I can be a part of sharing His undeniable love if only I will seek Him with all of my heart, put His calling before my own interests, and allow Him to work through me through the power of the Holy Spirit.

"I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free."  Psalm 119:32

"Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight." Psalm 119:35

The Fellowship of the Unashamed

Dr. Robert Morehead tells the story of a young man from Rwanda who was forced by his tribe in 1980 to renounce Christ or face death. He refused to renounce Christ and was murdered on the spot. The night before he had written the following commitment which was found in his room.  Oh that we all could make this kind of commitment for the Gospel of Christ and become a member of the Fellowship of the Unashamed.

"I am a part of the fellowship of the Unashamed. I have the Holy Spirit Power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. 


I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, mundane talking, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by presence, learn by faith, love by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.

My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my Guide is reliable, my mission is clear.

I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't give up, back up, let up, or shut up until I've preached up, prayed up, paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until He returns, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes.

And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My colors will be clear for "I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.." (Romans 1:16).

The Costs of Sanctification

In today's devotional in My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers says,  "Are we prepared to pay the cost of sanctification?  The cost will be a deep restriction of all our earthly concerns, and an extensive cultivation of all our godly concerns.  Sanctification means to be intensely focused on God's point of view.  It means to secure and to keep all the strength of our body, soul, and spirit for God's purpose alone. Are we really prepared for God to perform in us everything for which he separated us?"

I love this.

First, what is sanctification? The process of being set apart for God's purpose, the process of becoming more like Christ.  It's not easy, it's not always fun, and it's sometimes straight up painful.

Second, what are the costs of sanctification?  "a deep restriction of our earthly concerns" and "an extensive cultivation of our godly concerns"  So, a lessening of what the world values and an expanding of what God values.  You may be saying, 'Well that sounds good, that doesn't sound like a cost, it sounds like a benefit, I want to value what God values.'  I agree, I'm sure most of us would.  But what about when what we value contradicts with what God values?  How we use our time, spend our money, make our money, what we do with our free time, the type of clothes we wear, the type of house we live in, where we live....the list goes on.   Are we willing to let go of what we value to receive what God values?

Third, are keeping all the strength of our "body, soul, and spirit" for God's purposes?  Or, are we so spent physically, emotionally, and spiritually that we have nothing left to offer God.  Are we so busy doing our 'job' that we've forgotten to do our jobs as followers of Christ?  Does God receive the first fruits of our energy,  our emotions,and our souls?  Or do we allow the pressures and cares of the world to drain us?

Fourth, God has set us apart for a special, and unique purpose!  Each one of us has a part to play in the story we find ourselves in.  God is working all around us and He invites us to join Him EVERYDAY!  Are we accepting His invitation?

My road to sanctification is long and winding.....but I have faith that I'm moving in the right direction.  As the Psalms say, "I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free." (119:32 NIV) Sanctification is hard, but God's yoke is easy and His love is undeniable.  Cling to Him and He will set your heart free.