God's good work

I feel like God has been working in me lately, bringing me to a new place in my relationship with Him. It hasn't been easy.  I've questioned whether I still even had a relationship with him.  I felt distant.  I felt alone.  I felt loved, I felt overwhelmingly (and undeservedly) blessed.  This roller coaster of emotions often left me exhausted and perplexed.  What was my Lord doing?  Where was He?  

Now, as I come to some realizations, I find that He of course was with me all along.  (Something my head always knew even if my heart was questioning it.)

I once again have entered a new season in my life.....at some point a while ago I thought life seasons were always long.  Years, many years.  I'm realizing now they can be quite fleeting.  Chapters in our book of life with varying lengths.  God is bringing me to a new place of understanding both His love and how to share that love with others.  He is showing me my own tendency to judge others, to judge myself.  My tendency to place my faith in something other than Him.  To search for my hope and future some place else.  

Loving unconditionally as my Jesus loves is hard.  Filling myself with the Spirit is the only solution.  It is the source for that unconditional love.  Without the Spirit's love flowing into me, I will not have the capacity to love others.  

A few years back I concentrated greatly on living in the spiritual plane.  On being on this Earth but not of this Earth.  I was reminded in my Bible study this morning of the importance of setting my mind on the things of the Spirit and not the flesh.  Even when I am surrounded by things of the flesh, I have the ability, the choice, and as a Christ-follower, the responsibility to set my mind on things of the Spirit.  It is then that I find peace.  It is then that my hope is restored.  It is then that I am reminded of the undeniable love of my Father.  That He holds my whole world, my whole future, my happiness, my health in His hands.  

Heavenly Father, please help me to discipline my mind and my heart to focus on things of you and not on things of this world.  Thank you for your never ending love, grace, and mercy.  Amen. 

"For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace." Romans 8:5-6

Ringing in the New Year

As I sit on the eve of 2012 and look to starting 2013, I'm thinking about all that happened during this past year.  I see God's hand in every part.  His blessings, His faithfulness, His grace and mercy, His provision, the list goes on.  The latter part of 2011 and the first part of 2012 were possibly the roughest times in my life to date.  I experienced moments of darkness and loneliness that I never felt before and pray I never feel again.  But if I do, I'll remember that my Lord is with me every moment of every day, just as he was during those dark times.  It was through God's Word and prayer that I was able to get through each hour, sometimes each minute.  So while those times were dark and painful, I praise God for them.  They developed in me a faith that is unshakable    I true dependence on the Lord; a freedom to move through this life, laying the burdens and cares at the foot of His cross.  Once again my God proved His faithfulness, once again I was reminded of His love.

As I look into 2013, I'm surprised by my lack of desire to set goals, to plan my year ahead.  If there's anything the past two years have shown me it's that I can't plan my future, and I certainly can't control  it.  My earthly father's sudden passing shook me to my core.  It unhinged my ability to set my life course.  And I think this a good thing.  Instead, I will walk out each day in the hands of my Father, trusting in the Holy Spirit to guide me, following the steps of Jesus.  My Father's undeniable love will draw me close and keep me safe,  and that's all I need to know.

May God bless you and yours in 2013.  May we all serve Him with a new devotion and commitment to sharing His love and mercy with all who enter our lives, however fleeting their appearance may be.

In Him, peace.

Cheapening the gift...

When I look around me right now I see a lot of good things happening to a lot of good people.  Marriages, new jobs, new babies, good moves, happy families, new relationships.  If I look at my own life I see a lot of good things as well...yet at times I still feel myself wanting.  Wanting what others have, wanting what I don't.

When I find myself doing this I try quickly to nip it in the bud, to rein in those thoughts and feelings, and to focus instead on the good, the true, the holy in my own life.  For there is some much good, true, and holy.  My God loves me.  He has a plan for me.  His timing is perfect.  His grace is all encompassing.  His love is unending.  His mercies endure.  His Spirit is all powerful, all knowing, and all present.

I don't want to lose sight of all that God has blessed me with.  I don't want my feelings of desire and want to cheapen what I know God will bless me with in the future.   When I was a child I used to try and find my birthday/Christmas gifts before it was time to open them....I just couldn't wait to see what I was getting.  And yet, every time I found them, every time I spoiled the surprise, it cheapened the ultimate gift.  There's something about waiting until THE right moment to receive something that makes it all the more special.   There's something about knowing that you didn't  do anything to force something  that it just happened when it was supposed to, how it was supposed to.  That's where I want to be....walking in the knowledge that each day God allows what's supposed to happen, when it's supposed to happen....and there's nothing I need to do to make it happen. He is in control.  He is trustworthy.  He has my best interest at heart.

If God told me the plan now, I'd be far less likely to cling to Him everyday.  I'd be less likely to search Him with all of my heart.  I'd be less likely to call out to Him, less likely to fall on my knees crying out His name, knowing that I need Him to get through the next day, hour, minute.   And where would that leave me?  Empty. I've been there before and that's not a place I want to go back to.  So, as much as it pains me at the time, I will continue to walk in wonder.  I will continue to live out each day not knowing what the next will bring.  I will continue to trust that my God has it all figured out and that He'll reveal each step to me in His perfect timing.   Only then will my future bear all of the richness it deserves, without my meager attempts to cheapen it.  Only then will God's undeniable love be fully realized, fully felt, fully relied upon.

Joy...Complete Joy

If you haven't read the first 17 verses of John chapter 15, stop reading this and go read them.  They are a powerful reminder of the importance of staying connected to our creator.  How do we do this?  Through prayer, studying the bible, fellowship with other believers, trusting in Him, and presenting our requests.

What do we receive if we do this?  Joy.  His joy in us and our joy complete.  (Our joy never really could be complete without His joy right?)

This was my reading today from Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, the bold emphasis is mine. (If you don't have a daily devotional, or are looking for a new one, I highly suggest this one.  You can read it online or pick up a copy at almost any Christian (and many regular) bookstore.)

"What was the joy that Jesus had?  Joy should not be confused with happiness.  In fact, it is an insult to Jesus Christ to use the word happiness in connection with Him.  The joy of Jesus was His absolute self-surrender and self-sacrifice to His Father - the joy of doing that which the Father sent Him to do- '...who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross...' (Hebrews 12:2).  'I delight to do Your will, O my God...' (Psalm 40:8).  Jesus prayed that our joy might continue fulfilling itself until it becomes the same joy as His.  Have I allowed Jesus Christ to introduce His joy to me?

Living a full and overflowing life does not rest in bodily health, in circumstances, nor even in seeing God's work succeed, but in the perfect understanding of God, and in the same fellowship and oneness with Him that Jesus Himself enjoyed.  But the first thing that will hinder this joy is the subtle irritability caused by giving too much thought to our circumstances. Jesus said, '...the cares of this world, ...choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.' (Mark 4:19).  And before we even realize what has happened, we are caught up in our cares.  All that God has done for us is merely the threshold - He wants us to come to the place where we will be His witnesses and proclaim who Jesus is. 

Have the right relationship with God, finding your joy there, and out of you 'will flow rivers of living water' (John 7:38).  Be a fountain through which Jesus can pour His 'living water'.  Stop being hypocritical and proud, aware only of yourself, and live 'your life...hidden with Christ in God'  (Colossians 3:3). A person who has the right relationship with God lives a life as natural as breathing wherever he goes.  The lives that have been the greatest blessing to you are the lives of those people who themselves were unaware of having been a blessing."

This passage is full of so many nuggets!  Jesus received his joy from self-surrender and self-sacrifice.  Do we wake up every morning and before we even get out of bed surrender our self to the Lord's will?  Do we commit to laying down our lives for those around us? (John 15:13)  Are we devoted to one another in love? Do we honor others above ourselves? (Romans 12:10)

Bodily health, our circumstances, and even seeing God's work isn't where we receive a full life.  Instead, the fullness of life comes from our relationship with God, through a oneness with him.  So why is it so hard to develop this oneness and then maintain it?  As Chambers says, because we allow ourselves to focus too much on our own circumstances and the cares of this world.  There is so much competing for our attention on a daily basis, little of it has anything to do with strengthening our relationship in Christ.  Work, social responsibilities, social media, politics, "religion", family matters, friend issues, material belongings...all of these can distract us from focusing on God, from hearing His quite whisper.  All of these can turn our thoughts inward, almost as a mode of self-protection.

The answer to these distractions?  Chambers says, we should "have the right relationship with God."  Easier said than done, right?  But he does give us insight into how we can do this.  Stop focusing so much on ourselves.  Stop saying we love our brothers and sisters and yet never putting their needs before ours.  Stop saying we love Jesus and yet not allowing His plans to override our plans. It's not easy, but nothing of great value ever is.  We can begin today. We can chose to listen to God's voice over the thousands of voices shouting at us through TV, advertisements, billboards, Facebook, Twitter, the Internet.   We can chose to go against the flow, to stand out, to be a little different, to shine like stars in the universe....for that is what we who are called to do. (Philippians 2:15).  We can commit to taking a step forward, for standing up and standing out for what (and who) we know is true.  It is then that our joy will be complete.  It is then that His love will change us from the inside out.

I pray each of us will commit to surrendering ourselves to a God that loves us undeniably and to sacrificing ourselves for others, rather than living a life wholly centered on ourselves.  If we do, I believe we will see mighty changes in this world, our temporary home.   Amen.

The Work of God in Us

I'm moving.  In a month.  Far sooner than I expected but right on time from God's perspective.  I'm leaving a fabulously beautiful, fun community to be closer to my family.  I can't wait.  Fabulous and fun are surprisingly empty when you're miles from your loved ones.  There's much to be said about a simple life filled with big love and lots of hugs.  Hugs are important.

As I was going through my things, trying (unsuccessfully) to downsize, I came across a poster from a bible study I lead many years ago.  I thought it was good stuff and wanted to capture it here.  New Christians often wonder...what will it be like, now that I've made the biggest (and best) decision of my life?  These five promises describe a bit the work that God does in us once we choose to follow Him.

- God promises to comfort us.  In times of trouble, loneliness, fear....He is always there.  He will never leave nor forsake us.

- God promises to calibrate us.  As we grown in our relationship with Him through quite time, prayer, and studying His word, He will reveal His thoughts on our behaviors, words, and deeds.  He will gently (mostly) convict us of those things that hinder our relationship with Him.  

- God promises to challenge us.  Life on this earth is hard, but the Bible says take heart for Christ has overcome the world.  Challenges give us opportunities to stand up for Jesus, opportunities to rely solely on Him, opportunities to stake our claim in His rich soil.  

- God promises to change us.  He won't leave us as the same person that first comes to us.  He loves us to much for that.  He came so that we may have life abundantly.  As we seek His will for our life and run in the path of His commands He will change us from the inside out.  Our friends and families will notice.  We will notice. 

- God promises to commission us.  Go forth and make disciples of men in all the nations....so the Jesus commands.  And He's gifted us with unique skills and talents to serve others and honor Him.  Seek Him with all your heart and He will reveal these to you.

We can trust in God's undeniable love as He comforts, calibrates, challenges, changes, and commissions us.  May you experience the joy and peace of living a life fully for Him and fully reliant on Him.

My pesky sidekick

I carry my anxiety around like it's a favorite purse....when really it's more a pesky sidekick that won't leave me alone, or even worse a leech that has attached itself to me.  As I was browning my taco meat tonight my thoughts drifted to why I can't seem to shake my anxiousness....then I realized: my anxiety stems from fear of the unknown.  All my life I've been a planner, I make lists, I arrange schedules, I know where I'm going and when.  I had my life planned in high school and followed that plan for a good seven years afterward.  Then BAM, plan changed and I moved to Montana.  Then BAM, life threw me a huge curve ball with the death of my father. I thought I was back on track where I am now but I find myself empty and wandering.... wondering where I fit in, what's my purpose, what am I doing with this one life that I know first-hand can be ripped away without a moment's notice.  And to top off all of those questions, there is the bigger: "Where is my life headed?" question.  I'm standing here facing the unknown head-on and I'm about as comfortable as a....cat on a cactus?  cat in water?  I don't know...something extremely uncomfortable. (Think climbing over barbed wire uncomfortable).

My previous boss at a job that holds the record for my shortest job ever worked pointed out that I'm not good with nebulous.  Duh. I pointed out that I was a CERTIFIED PLANNER.....we don't do nebulous. Well, tough nuggies he said - get comfortable with nebulous, because the real world is nebulous. (I could go off on a whole other topic about the relationship between certified planners and the "real world".)  God is forcing me to get good with nebulous, because nebulousness is where you are forced to rely on Him....and that my friends, is His ultimate desire.

Truth be told, my fear of the unknown is really the symptom of a much bigger problem that should cause me much greater concern - a lack of trust in God my Father, my Provider, my Friend, my Confident, my Savior, He who has good things in store and came so that I might have life abundantly.  My fear of the unknown is really a symptom of a sin in my life.  A sin of which I repent and turn from.  Father, forgive me for not fully trusting in you, for placing my trust in my own strength and my own silly plans.

I'm in the middle of a process.  My prayer is that God will take away my anxiety but if He doesn't, I will CHOOSE to praise Him anyway. I will CHOOSE to love Him anyway.  I will CHOOSE to rejoice every day. And while this will be hard, I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me.  His undeniable love makes me able to get up each day, and comforts me each night.  May it do the same for you as we journey through life in our temporary home.

Choosing to love...

When we're young, love comes so easy....but as we eventually find out, in most cases that "love" is actually infatuation.  I was talking with another single friend the other day about the challenges of finding true love later in life.  In part because we realize now what true love actually is.  We realize now that love is a choice, one we must chose to make. I think about those times when I was younger and sooo in love with someone.  Back then I didn't choose to love, I just did.  Back then that person hung the moon and the stars....back then that person might have slowly edged God out as #1 in my life.  But as we all know, those times don't last. The burning flames eventually burn out if not sustained by an even stronger source. By not making a conscious choice to love, my "love" was based on superficial things and fleeting emotions.  Neither of these are strong enough to keep love burning for long.

Instead, by choosing to love, our love is based on something that runs deep, on a source that is sustainable;  the person's core values, the strengths they've been blessed with, the way they treat us - these are the things that matter.  Our love is given in spite of the person's weaknesses and in spite of their annoying habits.  Our love then, far more resembles the lasting, undeniable love of Christ and for that reason it will burn stronger, longer.  This, I believe, is of far greater value than anything else in this world.

During our conversation, my friend lamented that as we get older we find it harder to trust someone yet easier to find their faults.  I realized then how great the choice to love really is.  To love someone in spite of their faults is a gift that we give them. More importantly, it's a gift that we give ourselves. As we chose to love someone, we're giving ourselves the opportunity to grow and become more like Christ - our ultimate goal here on this Earth.  And, as we chose to love someone we're able to better experience and understand the undeniable love of Christ, that he would lay his life down for us.